A few thoughts on dating.
As tomorrow is Valentines day I thought I would write a few thoughts about dating. (Yes, Yes I know many Christians are against Valentines day and to be honest I don’t like it much either but I thought I would use it as an excuse to talk about it anyway). These thoughts aren’t exactly exhaustive thoughts and you might not necessarily agree with them all, but after all this site is called the Rambling Believer so let me Ramble for a little while.
(These thought are mainly aimed at believers, so if you aren’t a believer they might not apply to you but you may learn something anyway)
1) The most obvious point is that if you are a believer you should only date another believer and obviously someone of the opposite sex (I shouldn’t need to say this but in the world we live in unfortunately it is necessary). This is foundamental. Scripture tells us that we should not be unequally yoked and darkness cannot live with light. I don’t care if the person is the nicest person in the word, the most good looking person in the world, if you are dating a non-believer you are sinning against yourself and above all against God. (Obviously if you are both non-believers and you get married and then one becomes a believer then that is a different story. Throughout the Bible we are instructed not to be involved with or married to non-believers. So if you are in such a relationship then you have 2 options. You get either brake it off or continue. If you continue I would ask you very seriously to question your salvation. I am not saying that your are saved or you are not saved but you need to seriously think about it. If the other person becomes a Chrisian then that is a different story but you need to ask yourself another question, is the person doing it just to be with you or are they genuinely turning towards God. One other point worth considering is that if you are a believer and your boyfriend/girlfriend is not when it comes time for marriage most Pastors who are doing their job properly won’t consent to marrying you so you may not be able to marry in a Church.
2) It is also not just good enough for the person to be a believer but what type of believer are they. What I mean by this are you both on the same wave length. If one of you is say a very strict brethren and the other a hyper Charismatic then obviously this will never work, one will eventually have to compromise and may even come to dispise their boyfriend/girlfriend and eventual spouse. This does not mean that you necessarily agree on everything but you need to be close enough in you beliefs that you don’t continuously argue over them. Because if you get married and you have children this is where real problems will develop. As you are dating you need to talk about your beliefs, you need to talk about what Church you will attend when you get married and feel free to disagree with each other.
3) This point for some may be controversal but bear with me. As far as I can see if you are dating someone and you have no plans for marriage my advice is get out of that relationship. Why would you date someone if there was going to be no marriage at the end of it. Another point is why do some people wat for so long to get married. I have seen Christian couple who go for years without any hint of getting married. I am going to be a bit blunt here but the longer a couple are together the more likely that they will end up having sex outside of marriage no matter how spiritual they both may be. Of course our God is a God of mercy and he will forgive them if they call out for forgiveness but why go through all that pain. These are a few of my thoughts, within a year of going out with someone you should both know if they are the one. If you don’t end the relationship. If they are why haven’t got engaged. Within 6 months to a year of engagement I suggest you should be married. If not I wish to ask you why are you both wasteing each others time. If I wanted to be really Biblicaly that time would be cut down to marriage within one year of meeting each other for the first time. I know some people out there especially parrents will say but they are too young or they are not ready, but I would like to reply do you know better than God. God was the one who designed sex, marriage etc He was the one who wrote the rule book, so I would rather refer to Him first everytime. Other people may say but sure it takes years to organise a wedding and to save up for it. I say big, expenisve wedding equals STUPIDITY. Some people spend more money on their wedding than they do on their first year as a married couple. Would it not make better sense having a cheap wedding and using the money you would have spent on the wedding on buying a house, or some other necessity. Your wedding day is not the pinacle of your married life together, it is only the beginning so treat it as such. A wedding is simply a ceromony before God where you pledge the rest of your lives to each other.
These point are just a few out of many that I could make but I hope that you who are not married ponder them and if you you disagree with them let me know. Thanks